Wish Upon A Star

Suddenly emo. - Letter to Mr. President

2011-04-21T22:11:00.001-07:00

huuu

idk why im suddenly emo… Im just gonna be honest. I somehow feel scared… Im scared to lose max, scared that what if some other girl/s makes him happier than I make him happy? scared if he acts differently when im there and when im not. scared he needs to hide something from me so I wont get mad or upset. stop doing what he likes to do because of me. this might just be the shot that’s making me feel so down and below. tears don’t do anything at all. I really don’t know what to do. im so scared of getting hurt but ill prolly get hurt anyways. I hate being a jealous bitch, I know its not healthy and im trying not to take it out on him but ill just take it out on myself. I don’t know. he says he treats me like im his wife…but really how do you treat your wife?… I don’t know whats going on. im so stressed to the top I think im going crazy. im so stresses about getting the asylum, im stressed what if max have to go back or have to g** m******… I feel hopeless….I really hopeless… im tired of crying… my eyes are running out of tears… why can’t I just be citizen here? who in the world wants to go back to Indonesia where you get threatened or put bomb/s in your church? this 10 years of waiting for asylum to be in a safer place needs to be finished already… US need to give us greencard already! My family are good people and good "residence” of America… has always been good for this past 10 years… what else do you expect??????? you make me wait so long now I’ve fallen in love with an international student and cant do anything about it!! you ruined my life, my hope, and my dreams… what more prove do you want if being a good residence of 10 years isnt enough? bombs are going off everywhere in indo and earthquakes and trunamis are happening all over indo, pastors being killed, church being burnt, and you expect me to go back? HELL TO THE MUTHA FUCKIN NO! you go back to indo and be the president there and see if you want to get an aslyum here… I just finished goodling next international school for my love, but what in the world?! do you expect ALL international student that wants to reach their dreams and goals are all rich?! noooo! some struggle just to get that food on the table…im so pissed so tired so exhausted so tired of crying while typing all of my emotion when all I want is to be with the person I love… to have a taste of your “freedom” to get married here and live here.. I definetly went off topic but really this is how I felt, this letter is to you Mr. Obama who failed to keep his promises to all the immigrants… thank you thank you very much for breaking my heart, killing my dreams, and eventually lose the love of my life.

with love and hate,

-Magda

A Year Later…

2011-04-17T02:36:00.001-07:00

Hello all,

well not all, just myself…

it’s currently 1:25 AM on a Saturday night and I just woke up about 2 hours ago, couldn’t find myself going back to sleep… I haven’t wrote for awhile…

Here’s what’s new!

I got a new laptop! at an awesome deal
Max and I made it through a year
I had lost about 30 pounds from my diet from Jet and had recently gained 10-20lbs back –___-“
I’m stressed
I’m stressed
I’m scared
I don’t know what to do
I’m lost
I’m scared
I’m…. tatongka!
I’m sad
I’m depressed and I keep gaining weight
No matter how big my smile is, a huge pain is right underneath it
I need God
I need faith
I learned a lot about Max
I learned a lot about love
I learned a lot about patience
I learned how to trust again

I love my laptop except the nginnnnggggg sound from the fan or something. There’s a lot to tell about Max. Yes I lost 30lbs but yet gained it almost all back cuz of the trip to Michigan my tummy went big again :(

Max

My love, my man, my boyfriend, my husband, my babyboo, my pupsik, my tupoy, my tupsik, my jorok, my everything… Truly the only romantically opposite sex human being that loves me unconditionally. Sometimes I think he’s crazy for being with someone like me who is fat, loud, snores, cry baby, etc2. but yet he still loves me, he said the outer appearance doesn’t matter to him, what’s important is my heart. I love him so much. He doesn’t realize but because he loves me I understand what love really is.

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud it is not rude
Love is not self-seeking it is not easily angered
Love keeps no records of wrong
Love does not delight in evil but it rejoices with the truth
Love always protects
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres

–1Corinthians13:4-8a

You see, if you replace “love” with “Max”, it is everything he is! I know he’s the one I want to marry that I want to spend the rest of my life with…

but

but the course of true love never did run smooth says Shakespeare… If you’re a movie go-er you’ll notice that ALL love story, lovey-dovey movies have a part where they needed to be separated for awhile then they reunite and they live happily ever after… Yes it’s very “Awwwh” towards the end but even in movies they have problem that both sides need to solves in order to be together later on. The difference from movie and real life is that in movies you can always just put “6 months later” or “3 Years later” etc. but but not in real life! It is much harder to wait for that 6 months or that 3 years… Isn’t it sad? that why I said to Max that I’m not in a movie, why does things have to be so hard???

We all have some sort of problem/s with our “special one” but before I say what it is about mine, I would like to say the usual problem women are having nowadays. The problem/s with many women that are in long term relationships, are waiting for their man to ask their hand in marriage, have man that cheats on them, realize things just don’t work out, he’s not what you’re expected, he’s cheap, he’s broke, he can’t commit, etc. but mine…mine is not even any of these

We knew we’re made for each other, he have asked my hand in marriage for I don’t know how many times and my answers is always “yes”, we trust each other, we work things out, he’s what I expected, he commit to me, he knows nobody else can love him the way I do and vice versa but then here comes the problem…

papers.

I’m still waiting on my case to be approved and my love is an international student. What do I do? I’m going crazy trying to think of a way out… I’m drained! I’ve cried my heart and my mind out. Going crazy and blaming myself why can’t I be a citizen already since I’ve lived here for 10 years! so much being in love… my heart is aching, my mind is exhausted. It kills me every time the thought of m__c__ come across my mind. I’m tired. I just want to be happy. I want to be with the one I need the one I want. Truly my head is tired from running 100/mph thinking about all this. God I need you. I need a miracle, I need hope.

Things happens for a reason. All of these things are preventing me to have a normal relationship with Max. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what God can do.

That’s all for tonight. It’s 2:30am and I’m ready for bed now…

NYE!

2010-12-31T19:03:00.000-08:00

wow...so here I am at the last day of 2010.
Currently at Max's place :) he doesn't get off until 12 :(
but I just want to say how thankful I am for this year.
I'm thankful that I have God that loves me no matter what
as well as parents that loves me no matter what
and especially I have Max that still loves me no matter what
I am blessed in a very different and unique way this year and im happy for each one of them :)
A lot of lessons have been learned, a lot of new things I have done and thank God close to ZERO girl-drama... Not having Sarah this year really did make a HUGE change... no offense but its true.

Here's a quick list of the HIGHLIGHT of my 2010:

January
- Random countdown at Nogales
- Forgiving is an act of Love
- Jang Geun Suk ALL THE WAY!!!!!! <3
- Dear Geun Suk........... (Yellow letters)

February
- "I HAVE TO FIND A BOYFRIEND BEFORE MY 21st BDAY" Mission!
- LA bound!
- Hey who's that Russian? Oh, Hello there Max!
- SIS Wedding, CANCELLED!
- Happy b-day Russian, I didn't know you like that girl.... bye
- But Russian, we could still be friends :)
- I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!
- Hello there R.R. ;)
- Hi my other boyfriend, CANON T2i SLR!

March
- And I, I, I'm in love.... And I, I, I'm terrified~!
- MISSION: Kidnap Max :)
- MY NEW GIGI!!!! :D
- CHICAGO!
- Cancelled wedding trip was fun

April
- Fireworks in my heart or I just got electrocuted!
- Night full of kisses <3
- Today was a fairytale
- Hello Max.....my new boyfriend :)
- MoVal family, meet Max...Geisha House
- My soul left my body when I jumped off that electric pole in Pali Mtn.
- I could've DIED if I hadn't listen to Bonnie. (Dental Surgery)

May
- Pinky & Mytchell the FOXguy, David the Magician, Keith the ????
- VANNESS WU! I finally met you
- SNAP, SNAP, SNAP! Loving my camera
- Hi I'm Pucca and my boyfriend here is Garu

June
- Perfect Two by Auburn
- Max, Liz n Bonnie's bday present for me.... iPhone 4!
- CHATEAU MARMONT IS RACIST!
- But HAPPY 21st BDAY TO ME!!!!!!! :D
- SURPRISE BDAY PARTY! THX to BOnnie!

July
- Max, meet the Rumambis
- Sis wedding in Cali...FINALLY!
- Got to see Mommy n Daddy, triplets, Aj, Tt. Wulan, K Liza!
- Max....APPROVED! Rumambis like...wait no... LOVE
- EVERYONE left!
- Sis move to New Jersey, Parents go back to Mich, K Liza tt. Wulan go back to ML

August
- Dad approve religion difference...but IJO?!
- Hi tarantulas, wolf, other scary things (EGW Mem Church)

September
-
-
-
-
-

October
- Happy 6th Months :)
- JetDiet
-
-
-

November
- I need a friggin car!
- Let's go get my car in Mich? CANCELLED
-
-
-

December
- MICHIGAN TRIP!
- MICHIGAN - CHICAGO - St. LOUIS - OKLAHOMA - TEXAS - NEW MEXICO - ARIZONA - CALI Road trip!! Bringing HoLu back!!!
- Loneliest Xmas ever...but got my Boyfriend

Have you ever....

2010-10-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

Fall in love that it hurts so much but it is worth all the pain?

I have.

DIEt!

2010-10-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

Today I start on my "diet"
It worked on JetJet I surely hope it also works for me =/
Just need to lose couple of pounds :(
Although Max loves me the way I am, I just feel like I want to be healthier...
Shedding few pound would help a lot to get me to a healthier stage
Hopefully it will work on me *CROSSING FINGERS*

So today is Day 1
I shall blog back :)

Happy 6th months! :D

2010-10-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yayyy today is officially me and Max's 6th months of being together in a realationship :)
I know it's just 6 months, for some people 6 months is not a long time and prolly wouldn't want to celebrate or anything but yet this is my longest realationship consider I was in a relationshit couple of years ago and so now I would like to celebrate and make it BIG for the two of us :D

Last night we got back from LA about 12ish and then before we went to sleep I gave him his present :) I got him a Ralph Laurens wallet and this really2 cute card! and He loved both of it...then after that the night was just magical :)
We woke up at 6:45 this morning and got ready to go to my work place....
Dear my lovely blogspot,
let me let you in on a secret...

I love him with all my heart, truly with all my heart.
I thank God for everything, for him and everything else that falls after him :)
his personality, his kindness, his smile, his politeness, just him being himself...
I also thanked him on a card I wrote him. I thanked him for loving me just the way I am.
He's truly a blessing to me and I hope I'm also somehow a blessing to him.

So I was thinking maybe today we can watch 'the social network' and then eat and then take pics at Cue! since KiraKira will be closed :(
so yeahhhhh :) We'll see what's up today :D

HAPPY 6 MONTHS!

I love Pinky!

2010-08-22T17:17:00.001-07:00

I talked to Pinky and she made me feel much better :)

*sigh* me and my trust issues :(

the best solution.

2010-08-22T16:58:00.001-07:00

Yea? what do you think? I think this is the best solution at the moment… Let’s see how long I can be away from Facebook… –_-“

Even!

2010-08-22T05:41:00.001-07:00

So I guess we’re even. Me and Max.

Its five o’clock in the morning on Sunday. I can not sleep. Not at all! My curiosity is challenging me… I was going to sleep and his phone was next to me, And so, I went to check on Max’s text messages, which is probably not a good idea! Well heck! It was NOT a good idea. I guess everyone have something that is for their own reason. I found a text from Max to his friend Chris, that says something like “hey that new girl from D’lush is pretty nice :)” (Seriously? a smiley face? even if i texted Pio I don’t put smiley face) and then his friend asked if she’s cute and Max’s reply would be “She’s good”….”She’s good”? the question is more “at what?"?” ughhh you see… it’s me again! Why in the world am i so insecure?????????? :’(( I hate this… this new girl is the one that made me all insecure again :( because first of all… Max first commented her on facebook: NANI DESU KA? Can anyone explain? I didn’t want to bring up about the Facebook shit but after what my curiosity wanted to find out, I just had to. I mean Max doesn’t like going clubbing… and all of the sudden he’s suggesting this girl to go to the Highlands? “next time”? FUUUUCKKKKK~! I’m fucking delusional :( I’m supposed to trust my boyfriend….right? then she replied “Lol wassup green cafe!! Ahha yea fo sho! I'm down.” Obviously this girl is just being friendly…but what if your boyfriend commented on her wall again:

awhhh how cute…now my boyfriend wants to know if she’s having fun or not… I mean c’mon?! Max HARDLY to almost NEVER comments me on facebook!!!! This is such a heartbreak!! :(

and this comes next:

OK…. “NEXT TIME”???? I am honestly just worried and my self-esteem is going lower and lower along with my insecurities level :(

Like I said,,,, I didn’t want to bring this up because all of my jealousy I have already talked about it with Raisa n Pinky… And I don’t want /cant to bring it up Max because I dont want to appear as this jealous insecure low self esteemed girl! I guess I rather keep the hurt to myself…I mean I’ve been hurt many times before…why can’t i just try to stand this one? I dont want Max' to be like “I’m not gonna tell this girl anything then” or “I dont want this girl to check my phone” or “I’ll just do it behind my back”… I want to talk to him about this because maybe he have a reason for it… Reason that I can believe.

And earlier when I found the txt msgs… It just pulled my last nerve… I need to know what’s going on… Am I being stupid again? My heart felt like it has been stabbed in the center when I read that txt. Am I being stupid again? Max told me no matter how I feel about something, I should tell him. But I dont think jealousy stuff should be told to him because by telling him, it is the only way to make him weigh how much I get jealous ets. :(

I named the title “Fair” because one time Max’ read my txt msgs and I had txt to pio saying for him to come to LA to go clubbing so i suppose it equalized with this. But trust me, my heart is fragile than anyone else’s.

I hope I will find what is going on soon because my heart can’t take anymore stabs. Sometimes you just have to know if it will be worth your time or not.

Things to remember:

2010-08-22T05:04:00.001-07:00

I made this list because whenever my low self-esteem or my insecurities get at me…

I know,,, it’s sad right?

After all of the stuff in the past that happened, it really is hard for me trust or “don’t worry” about something or someone in particular… I can trust the guy except I can’t trust the people around him. I trusted Benny, I trusted Ontet, and I greatly trusted Pio… But boys will always be boys… Will get anything they can get…Will take anything they can take… Will pretty much hook up with anyone they can…All without thinking about the person that cared the most and realize that what they did wrong, later.

Then I met Max….

He’s everything I asked for.

He’s the guy who calls me beautiful instead of hot (although in certain situation he would call me ‘hot’) ;) . He’s the guy who calls me back when i hang up on him, who layed under the stars and he’s the one that would listen to my heartbeat, the one who will stay awake just to watch me sleep. He would kiss my forehead and wants to show me off to the world when I’m in sweats, the one who holds my hand in front of his friend, who really thinks that I’m just as pretty without make up on and he would constantly show me of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have me… he would say “I love you” in front of gazillion people and not be embarrassed…and lastly he’s the one who would turns to his friends and says, “that’s her”…

The cute stuff he would actually do:

Carry my purse
Open the door for me
Write a note for me that says “I Love U Pucca”
Write “Pupsik”, “Ya tibya leblu” and draw hearts all over my task board at work
Volunteer at my work place just so he can see me and spend time with me
Get his license to be my “personal driver”
Get checked for me
Take me to “O”rlando hahahhah :D
Make me laugh
He knows how to make me smile when I’m feeling down
Sniffs my hair, my cheek and my neck
Got mad at the waitress that had us wait for hours to get our food on my birthday
Hug me from behind
Pull me and hug me tight
Play with my hair
His “serious” face
Act like a little kid when he wants something
Dance with me although he can’t dance :)
Whine because he is hunnnnnggggrry
Drive me to astroburger to have late late dinner ;)
Clean up my mess after I hit the jakpot (threw up)
Change my clothes when I’m terribly drunk
Stay with me until I fall asleep
Watch me till I fall asleep

and the list to be continued…

test

2010-08-21T12:05:00.001-07:00

this is a test from my windows live writer blahalbhalbhalbh

AWESOME weekend!

2010-08-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

this weekend was awesome.
on saturday me, jojo, sukma, ellen, jordan, indri and ming went to the Ellen White Memorial Churc @ LA...and when we got there it was the closing of VBS (Vacation Bible School) and so the little kids were performing and they had this Animal Track. They brought in reptiles! they had scorpio, tarantula, baby alligator, snake, etc. and WOLF! and so by the end of church we took pix with the snake and WOLF! heheeh then after church we went to indri's new place and she served late lunch :D mannn it was delicious! after that i crash and woke up at 6ish while jordan, jojo n sukma went to jojo's uda house to get rid of jordan's justin bieber hair lol. then we went to Chinatown to enjoy the Chinatown Summer Night Festival. It was so much fun but what's funny is that there no chinese food nor chinese music lol. then decided to go home. i was gonna stay at Edwin's place but Max won't let me. so then after Chinatown I stayed a little bit at Edwin's place and somehow got Edwin to drop me off at Max's with a promise (well not really a promise) that he can get high with Max's friends...lol and so me and edwin were at Max's place and everyone got home etc. etc. etc.

Edwin got super high.
I got super drunk.
Cannot walk.
Cannot talk.
Threw up.
Max took care of me.
Threw up some more.
Everything is just spinning.
Then I hit the bed.
Woke up with a terrible/horrible hungover!

then its sunday:
Pinky have to leave home as early as 8.
I asked if she could stay till 10.
She said No cuz she havto work early (3:30pm) tomorrow.
I waited till Max get off from work to figure things out.
Pick Max up with Greg's Honda that I like.
Then me and Max decided to take Greg's car.
BananaBay
homesweethome

then its monday:
slept late last night ;)
woke up at 8
got ready for work
went to the clinic to have me and max checked
me & max's HIV test = negative
the rest comes later so im still anxious
finished by 10:45ish
went to work
super tired
poor Max havto fill out paperwork for volunteering
finally 5
Max insisted on driving the car through the canyon
so i let him
he did good, hence im still alive :)
got home, really tired!
ate yesterday's leftover and cooked Korean Noodles for Max :)
convinced Max to go home tomorrow morning
CONVINCED!
Max helped moving stuff to the garage :)
threw out the bedding of the incomplete sofa bed thingy
landed on 1st floor
Me and Max layed down on the bedding and watched the stars :)
finishing cleaning up the apartment
and its 10.
fell asleep till 11:30pm
Max decided to eat in-n-out, buy his raspberry juice, fill up gas
home at 12:30pm
ate
then we were just talking
head to bed
chilling and listening to music
fly
listening to "Just the way you are"-Bruno Mars
(mannnn that song is really romantic)
and cute kisses :)
:| > :) > :D > x_X" > :)

then tuesday morning:
did not want to get up!
late to work
max also late for work
work
work
work
got home
fell asleep
talked to Max
found out he just threw my notes away :'(

then now:
and now...current mood, current feelings, current thoughts
mood:BT
feelings:mix
thoughts:
thoughts... what am I thinking atm?
I am just oh i dont know...acting up again?
at first I didnt even know that he threw my notes away
he was the one that sort of just told me since i asked where's the note
then he said "beb, why did you dig in the trash can"
that's when i know he really threw it away
which made me want to look for it.
kitchen trash: none
bathroom trash: none
room trash: TWO
*SIGH*
maybe its just me who is thinking too much
taking every little things too seriously
but i put my feelings in those notes! :(
so of course when i found it laying crimpled on the trash can
i feel hurt :'(
feels like my feelings for him is in the trash can
that is just a piece of shit!
of course he would not understand this girly things/feelings
since of course they won't care what the notes says
i mean if something is cute don't you want to keep it?
when i found those notes i honestly felt like crap
but i didnt want to force him to do stuff that he doesn't like
like keeping girly notes
i honestly could not think at the time i found those notes :(
it was such a horrible feeling!
then the most horrible feeling came...
feeling that everything is just fake
that everything is just something that he just had to do it in order not to hurt me
that everything is not real
that everything is a complete lies
that's how i felt
i dropped a few tears just by thinking of it
i unruffled the notes
i kept them
just for my memories
oh, my heart aches when i just wrote that
and i accidentally dropped a tear or two
i suppose notes doesn't do
so i'll stop writing him notes

now my eyes are falling asleep
i should head to bed
take some rest
it's been a long weekend
interesting one.

sweet dreams and good night

5 minutes later...

2010-08-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

*SIGH*
I guess I'm just stupid
how can a 21 yr old like me think about marriage?
oh gosh I can't even believe I just said "marriage"
see i just said it again!

yes call me crazy since i talk about marriage..
i really need to stop saying the M word.

maybe this is just because
i dont want to lose Max
i really don't
many times i've said in my previous journals about how or what will my opinion or feelings be about current guy. example. "I wonder what he'll be like in 5 yrs" or something...and everytime i write something like that the guys would change or actually just dissappear out of my life.

but no
not Max

He's too caring, polite, nice, loving, funny, dorky, etc.
there's so many good things about him that made me truly and honestly love him.
because of him, i know what love is
i know what the Corinthians were talking about

1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

Love never fails.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.

You see all of those characteristics of love?
yes, Max have shown me ALL of them.
ALL.

So how can I let him go if he's the one who showed me and taught me what love is?
and he loves me unconditionally :)
as i love him unconditionally

Where else can i find a cute guy like Max with that characteristic.
After this (but i truly and honestly hope he will be my last)
I, Magdalena Wieske Kolopita Rumambi...will not settle for less

after all the heartbreaks, backstabs, drama, betrayal, "fun" that we both went through separately in the past, we have come in conclusion that we're both..
DESERVE EACHOTHER

I will try my hardest and my bestest to make this work and let God do the rest.
I am sure He sent Max to/for me for a reason.
I pray for His guidance in this relationship.

as of right now,
the only thing that is clear to me is that...

I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH MAKHSUDZHON RUSTAMOVICH KARAEV!

I JUST GOT MARRIED~!

2010-08-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

yea....no

no
nono
nonono
nononono
nonono
nono
no

just
NO!

ALTHOUGH,
I really want to!
:(

I am in my depressed mode ON!
*SIGH*
I just wanna cry

cry
crycry
crycrycry
crycry
cry

so now religion is obviously not the thing that prevent me to marry Max.
because truth is, my dad doesn't mind if he's muslim and that is all I needed to know.
but as you know, one problem solved another one will show up.
its about ijo...
ijo
HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA GET THAT ASAP?~!!!!!

aj sl;dkfmjl;asdkfvjgfl;asfal;sjfasl;

Worried!

2010-08-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

I was super worried last night since Max didn't call me back nor texted me back.
and he just texted me around 1:30pm.
Gosh i was worried sick~!
I wondered where he is, is he ok, is he out somewhere, etc2.
huuuuu sebel!
SEBEL SEBEL SEBEL!!!!

I'm still sort of mad, but i cant blame him since he left his phone in Tolik's car.
ughhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well at least this weekend I'm going to Vanness's bday party!!!

Vblog: Terribly sick :(

2010-07-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm terribly sick :(
can't stop coughing, and i feel really2 chilly in the afternoon at work with a slight headache...
*SIGH*
I wish Max is here :(

Littles in Hollywood

2010-07-26T15:00:00.001-07:00

IMG_7234, originally uploaded by DaLena R.

LA I missed you!

2010-07-25T22:37:00.000-07:00

Today was crazy... I still felt a little bit like shit but im trying to suck it up because its sabbath...
I totally didn't wanna go anywhere until Pinky asked if i wanna go to LA and the beach...
so i said yes and head to PInky's house...
No matter how big my urge is to see Max, I still didn't want to see him
then Pinky sort of "kicked me out" of business cuz she's meeting up with this actor guy from a reality show on vH1 and she said just drop her off at Heat's house then I can go see Max at Hollywood and Highland...
I still didnt' wanna go, but then I thought ok fine, why not?? I dont want to be the third wheel in there...
So I went to H&H n met Max....

I missed him so much that I didn't know what to do first when I saw him

I can only smile

and he said "Where's my hug?"
and so i hugged him :)

I was so hungry and he made me tuna sandwich and peach n strawberry smoothie... it was sooooo YUM!!!!

and look what Diego did to my Parking Ticket >>>>>
*SIGH* Ayyy yayyy yayyy~! lol i guess i'm the most special guest in H&H...hahahaa but i feel the love =P
oh, and I saw Diego's mom too...all very nice people
I'm glad Max "grew up" with them :)

Then like 15 minutes later pinky texted me that I can pick her up in 5 mins so then I went to pick her up and we were gonna head to the beach but it was pretty chilly so then we decided to just eat at the Grove.

After eating Brazillian food at the Farmer's Market which was very VERY delicious! Next to your Left is what I ate...Top left is mashed potatoes and then cheese bread, fried singkong, spaghetti and GARLIC BEEF!!!!!!! SOOO yummy!

Then after the Grove we're meeting up with Keith in a place called XOORO...

It's basically a "churro" with a special fill and they also put something outside of it... but what i hate is that its hard! -_-" my teeth was about to fall off~! -_-" but regardless, it was good!

After churro, we were done about 9:30ish and the decided to see Jameson strip lol at level 3... actually me n pinky just wanted to chill. I wanted to sit inside while waiting for Max to get out..so we decided that we're going to go to the highlands and get Jameson get us in for free UNTIL we realized that pinky's phone ran out of battery! and i don't have Jameson's number~! -_-" so then we've got this crazy idea of try to come up to the bouncer and tell them that we're looking for Jameson..lol..so we tried and guess what??? WE FAILED! hahah...
Came back and Max was like "what happened????" we're like ummm yea we failed.
But Me and Pinky wanted to just sit inside, we don't even feel like dancing... Max suggested to go to Hard Rock Cafe since there's some sort of premiere or something. But we ended up going to the Bowling place at H&H then it sucked since we FAILED again trying to get in the back door near the restroom. We went out and the elevator didn't work...so we walked around the Highland and there was a line and a guy was like "you guys wanna get in the club for free?" and we're like...sure...
and it ended up at the same club "the highlands" except its from another entry -___-" and we met Jameson inside... and he introduced us to another 2 stripper which was Asian..one of them is pretty cute but look a little snobby...lol then its almost 12, Max is about to get off... so we were trying to get away from Jameson hahaha so we did got away from him, we basically have to sneak out of the club...

Max got out and so we went to his house

ULTIMATUM!

2010-07-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

what the hell right?!
ultimatum???
Ok let me tell you the story...
last night i was pissed because max went clubbing out of nowhere and without me...
and now im pissed because he does not want to sleepover and volunteer on monday~!
i mean WHY NOT?! he's the one that wanted it at first...
He said that he wants to take care of me especially now that everyone is gone and im by myself and im getting sick by the day! :( the least i could have is him by my side...
i tried to convince him to sleepover when he finally said "beb you know i hate arguing right? and if we argue once again you know that i'm done...thats it...and i mean it"

"I'm done...that's it...and i mean it"

and I thought..."he's going to break up wid me?" I dont want to be like Roxy, where he was pursuing her seriously until she talks with other guys...and I know Max will not like the girl once he doesn't like her...so i was freaking out when he said that! I didn't want to argue and i can only agree with him that we will talk about it on sunday...

I honestly don't want to lose him~ and I don't know how I'll be like if I ever lose a great guy like him... I just don't want to

once again i feel like crap and my heart was aching because I wanted him to know how i feel without arguing :( and so,

I cried myself to sleep.

:(

2010-07-23T00:36:00.000-07:00

Makhsudzon is going clubbing :(
I'm so pissed at him! I mean, how come when I ask him if he wants to go clubbing he always says he's "tired"... but now all of the sudden he wants to go wid his frienddddssss~!
He's prolly gna go wid Greg, Alisia, Alena and Fatima...
It was hard for me to accept and trust that there's nothing going of between Fatima and Max...
But now comes this gorgeous pretty lady, Alena.
and then all of the sudden greg's friend from Moscow came named Alisia... and last week Max told me that she f**** greg to pay rent etc2.
SOME ONE TELL ME HOW CAN I NOT BE WORRIED?!
I trust Max but what about his friends? I would love to trust them but sadly I'm traumatized by what Sarah did to me... :'(
there were lots of 'what ifs'...
its like "What if Alisia is horny or whatever and come onto Max?" etc2.
and last time i was at Max's place, Alena was looking sexy and gorgeous in her pajamas... -___-"
I feel like crap to be honest...
its like WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!
how did i let myself be this HUGE! :(
I cannot believe this...i just cant..
looking at Fatima, Alisia, Alena and Shirin just made my self-esteen went to -100!
i try not to think about it, but when situation like this come up i wish i'm more in shape..
i dont have to be skinny like them but i wanna be in shape :(
all of this is just making me feel like a loner and i dont even want to upset Max nor argue with him. We're both tired of arguing and i would just like to talk not argue... I want to straight things out...

Or I'm now having a stupid trust issue :(
which is even worse...

so thats why tonight i decide that I will go to sleep early and not think abt it and just trust he wont do anything stupid. Even though my heart is aching, I will be optimistic and trust him.

EVERYONE LEFT!

2010-07-18T22:12:00.000-07:00

:(
so everyone left...
I'm by myself now...
honestly I'm scared...
but you never know until you try right?
I still have my Max and Pinky and Sukma and Jojo etc.
my other guardian angels :)

Parents: APPROVED!

2010-07-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

So my mom, dad, triplets, aj, tante wulan and k liza all met Max...
and they all like him :)
I'm so happy that they do
and they trust Max will take good care of me

Bonnie was right...what's not to like in Max?
I just hope, hope and wish that this is it

my prayer of the day would be...

Our Father in heaven I thank you for this day that you have join all of us together. Thank you for family that loves us no matter what. Thank you for sending Max at the right time, since you make everything beautiful in its time. Please be with each one of them and protect them. Thank you Jesus, in Jesus name I prayed...Amen

SISTER'S WEDDING!!!!!

2010-07-16T17:03:00.000-07:00

It was hella hotttttt
hella late!!!!!
etc. etc. etc.

This is a copy of my toast...
Idea was from some guy from youtube hehehe

Good evening. For those who don't know who I am, I'm the bride's favorite sister hehe. And although I'm not much into speeches I'm here to say a few words to my sister.

Ka, you know I don't like doing things like this, speaking in front of a lot of people. But you've always inspired me to do something challenging, do great things with the right mind and I've always looked up you But this speech won't be that great, since I couldn't get you to edit it for me, like you normally do with most of my stuff that I create but hopefully it'll be fine.

This whole wedding thing didn't hit me until last night when I started thinking how sad it will be when you leave California and how empty the place will be without you. I think most siblings would have killed each other by now after having lived together for a few months, but yet we've survived 21 years together. Although we came close to killing each other several times, it worked out because of our closeness, our openness, and because Mommy and daddy have always said that no matter what, we are still family and we have to watch out for each other.

I just want to take a few minutes to tell you about some of the things I'll miss by not having you around... I'll miss:

- the times when u buy new clothes and it turns out to be too big on you and I get to have it
- you shower first which will always gives me an extra 30mins of sleep
- i use u as an excuse of being late to work
- going shopping for the cheapest things with an expensive look and material
- seeing you 24/7 and I mean literally 24/7 since we work or actually used to work together
- you driving me everywhere and now I have to drive myself around
- How i buy the things you like except I buy it for myself
- the nights where u call to see if at least I'm otw home yet or still somewhere else and just to make sure I
Ok
- listening to ur solo part at the blessings practice. I know I always make fun of u but it's only because I know I can't sing and sound as good as you
- fighting over something that we both like in terms of stuff not guys
- you would clean the room although it's all my mess and stuff
- talking and "discussing" about funny people
- being silly and doing a voice-over of Pucca, our dog. And we still wish she would talk
- how I always walk to the front of the office to find u there and now I won't be going up there as often
- reminiscing how good it was when it was just the 2 of us before aj and the triplets

But most of all, I'll miss just having my sister. Although you're older than me and you've taken care of me since we were little itty bitties, somewhere in the middle of it all, I started taking care of you too. And though I have no doubt Billy will do a great job of now taking care of you and your new family, I just want you to know that I am always your sister and I'm just a phone call or a facebook away if you ever need anything. I know I haven't always been the greatest sister, but you've been the best older sister.

And I know you hardly hear me say it, because of my stubborn self, shyness and mainly because it goes without saying... but I'll say it now... I love you. Thank you so much for everything and for always being there for me.

Billy, welcome to the family.

So I'd like to raise this glass for a toast... To my sister and Billy, may they have a little girl first so that the rest of their kids will know how great and lucky they are to have an older sister.

wow....that was a long toast!!! ahahahh but watever~!
i meant everything i said in my toast...

i was just really REALLY! dissapointed when Billy was just talking to his best man while i gave my toast...-___-" UGHHHH what a jerk!!!!! but despite all of that shits i am glad to pronounce that

I'M GLAD IT IS ALL OVER NOW!!!!!!!!!!
CHEERS~*!

Re: "Aku sedih"

2010-07-13T16:59:00.000-07:00

So after I wrote all that I guess Max couldn't stand me being awake.
He then came over and asked me what's wrong and so we talked.
I explained whatever's bothering me... and it turned out that I misheard pretty much everything that he said...
When he said he's tired, he meant he's tired of us arguing not tired of me...
because he knows argument will just lead to bad relationship... and so we just talked and talked and understand eachother...
I wanted to cry when I told him that I thought he wanted to break up -_-'
but he comforted me and said that is not what he wants...

i simply love him
with all my heart...

AKU SEDIHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

2010-07-10T02:30:00.000-07:00

just got home from LA....
picked up tante Wulan at LAX at 5ish
went home
met triplets and aj and mommy and daddy...
went to target to find shoes for 3plets
went to WinCo
then go pick up ka lisa at HOllywood and highland...
today is saturday already. tomorrow is my sister's wedding...
tomorrow is also me and max's 3rd months together
but
not

on the way driving home i guess i was being a total bitch
not 'i guess'
i was
i meannn idkkk
im stressed, im about to have my period, and im so frickin tired of driving back and forth all day!
then the subject came up again....
how his suit should look like in which color.
idk
i dont even know what to write
all i remember is when he said
'i thought having a gf would be easy not compicated like this'
he didnt say it like that but that is his point.
he also said
'this is the last time im coming with you to ur place'
OUCH!
ok??
i understand he was mad and i was mad too
but

he
crossed
the
line
when
he
said
'something is wrong with this relationship'
'you dont like this, you dont like that'
'im tired of it'

so then the whole way back home was just ______________________________________
BLANK!
i could not think AT ALL!!
i dont know what to think~!

all that went through my mind was just
'did we just broke up?'

but when we got home he was all calling me 'baby boo'
etc. etc.
i dont know how to act~!
is it like ur done with being mad at me or ur just pretending or what????!
im so confused i can not SLEEP~
i want to cry so badly
really 2 badly except i cant
tears r just pouring inside my heart
my heart hurts like a bitch
i guess i deserve it.
i honestly am just scared to lose him.
you know you dont know what you got till you lose 'em.
i dont need to lose him to know what i got.
because i know he's a great guy
except now seems like i too, have crossed the line.

OETUKKKKKEEEE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna talk to him
but
i somehow dont feel comfortable anymore...sort of

just because whatever he said, i have thought that he let me go.
or maybe he did.
i know him
once he doesnt like someone he does not like them at all!

so now i feel like he completely hates me.
what shouldn't be said, have been said.
Bible was right, nothing pierce the heart like the sharpness of the tounge.
Tounge is truly the most dangerous weapon.

i guess it's just me...
a stupid arrogant biyatch~

BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!!!

2010-07-01T12:26:00.000-07:00

Oh my goshhhhh! sooo
Max came wid me to volunteer at the office right? and thennnn turns out he, bonnie and liz have a special plan for me!
Went with Max to pick up food from Maria's
and when i got back, the table was set up and there was a birthday cake! with a plastic martini on top of it...
and thats not all!
they had cards for me!
and as i open it, one more is inside and another and another
until i found a card that looks like a phone
and when i open it
it has a pink tissue paper
i ripped the top part and saw $100 bill(s)
im like NO....
NOOOO~!
NOOOOOOOOOO~
and they said yesss...its for ur iphone 4~!!!!!!!!
i went nuts! hugged max and bonnie and liz...
im a happy girl! :D

pre-bday present :D

2010-06-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

"heart made :)"

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

Perfect Two

2010-06-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

Perfect Two - Auburn
You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

[B-Sec:]
Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

[Hook:]
Cause your the one for me for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

[Verse 2:]
You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

[B-Sec:]
Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

[B-Sec 1/2:]
Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

[Chorus]

So that's the original version.
and Max have his own version
such as:
"Cause you're the beat in my heart,
you're the love of my life,
you're the key to my door,
you're the only one I wanna marry"
lol

He's my definition of happy
:)
He's the butterflies in my tummy
:)
He's my prince, except he left his white horse back home
:P

What Am I Doing?

2010-06-06T01:54:00.000-07:00

What am i doing?
I'm so scared of getting my heart broken
and
I'm so scared of breaking his heart.
Deep inside,
somehow it feels like I'm the one who'll break his heart :(
ughhh idk
i'm just thinking too much.
He's everything I asked for.
He's nice
he respects me and my friends and my family
he understands and respect my religion. He's even interested in it.
but i know, I KNOW he's not gonna convert for me. and I dont want him to convert for me.
If he does want to be converted, I want him to be converted because he's found Jesus not because of me.
I know I might be thinking too much but I can't help thinking~
He's taking me seriously.
Like "I-wanna-marry-you-no-matter-what" serious.
I asked him what if one day his dad calls him and says "Ok Max, that's it you are coming back to Moscow no matter what"...and he said that he will take me to Moscow and then i can meet his parents and explain. But you know, it is always easier said than being done.

Honestly,
I don't know who else can be as cute as him,
as caring as him
as respectful as him
as serious as him
as funny as him
as goblok as him
as tupoy as him
as sweet as him
as real as him
as gentleman as him
as everything as him.
I mean who else can love me just the way I am?
I am at my FATTEST right now and he still loves me.
Even with my stupid stretch marks on my tummy cuz i gained hell a lot of weight he doesnt mind.
and no he's just not in it for the sex because truth is, no matter how horny I am or how "just put it in" i am, he's the one that controls the right head and say "No.... we gotta stop"
I mean, I am at my horniest~! -_-"
He knows I'm a Virgin and even if i'm willing for him to take my virginity away he's the one that said "No...I dont want to... You've been a virgin for 20 years and I cant just come out of nowhere and take it away from you, it is something special"
that, means ALOT for me...
He not only call me beautiful or pretty but he sees me beautiful and pretty
and he treats me like a princess :)
He doesn't force me to do stuff I dont wanna do.
Even at my bitchiest moment and he's having a bad day he still listens to me and make everything better.
Yet, I know I can't be with him...
yet ive got to let this one go...
I don't want love interfere my religion and my relationship with God.

What am i doing?

Im just hurting the both of us.
Sometimes the thought of putusin dia would come across my mind.
I dont want us to have heartaches but yet iv felt its too late
Both of us are falling for eachother.

He is everything I am.
I used to be the one that falls harder than the guy
but now he's the one that is falling harder than me.
I used to be the one that care about the others checking up on them
but now he's the on that cares about me and checking up on me
I used to be the one who have feelings for the other person and when something is wrong I could feel it
but now he's the one who have feelings for me and knows right away when something is wrong with me
I used to be the one waiting for someone's text
but now he's the one who's waiting for my text and would text me thrice
I used to be the one that tries to impress the guy, wondering if im doing things right
but now he's the one that tries to impress me and wonder if i like it
I used to be the one giving them pleasure
but now he's the one that gives me pleasure

He's my other half.

on second thought,

I CAN NOT LET THIS ONE GO!
I WILL NOT.
but how far will I go to fight for this love?
will this one, really be the last?

x,M.

A Woman's Heart...

2010-06-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her." -Unknown

True.
But how?
I just spoke with Chaplain Sidany and she was asking how's me and Max.
Trus gw bilang smuanya baik2 aja...tapi
ada TAPI...
Dia orang Igislagam.
Katanya Chaplain Sidany gw harus shine, ga boleh flip.
Maksudnya gw ga bisa bilang ke Max kalo gw ke grj tapi abis itu partying.
Gw harus stick to one pendirian.
Or else Max bakal yg "hmm...ni cw kok stengah2"
jadi waktu ngobrol ama Chaplain Sidany is when I remembered that quote.
Gw harus bersinar.
Dia harus tau kalo sunset dedication gw adalah Tuhan.
Bikin dia penasaran sampe dia yg nyari gw melalui Tuhan.

Tapi.

Tapi..

susah.
Faith gw ga begitu kuat.
dan gw juga respect agamanya Max.
gw ga' mau dia mikir "oh anjrit, ni cw cuma mau gw convert"
I don't want that.

dan tiba2 gw mikir...

"Gimana kalo kita putus aja?"

biar 22nya ga sakit hati lebih parah.
Secara 2 bulan aja belon, secara masi baru,
mungkin kalo di end dari sekarang sakit hatinya ga begitu dalem.
tapi,
kalo gw tinggalin am I gna be ok? is HE gna be ok?

ada verse yg bilang jgn ama orang yg ag satu iman.. ill look for it later

What Do You Live For?

2010-06-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

Life...
"What do we live life for?"
This question have been popping in my head more and more often.
Love...
"What do I do with love?"
This question too, I'm trying to figure out.Its not one of those "What is love?" question.
Because I know what love is. And YES, it is harder to put it in practice. BUT I'm currently trying :)

If you are wanting to know what love is, here's what it is:Everything is such a bliss at the moment.
All too good to be true.
I know, I KNOW that this is just the beginning.
Still the lovey-dovey, kissy-smoochy, chmok stage.
Trying to imagine him get mad at me.
So far it has been me getting mad at him. -_-"
Im so bad.
"Enjoy the moment" they say. But I want this moment to last.
Despite all of the differences and the cant we have.
Can't time freeze?
Why do need to work?
Why are there dreams to chase, when really chasing happiness, chasing love, to be loved in returned is all that we wanted. All that we need.
Why all the money in the world when money can't even buy a true happiness?
Why is everyone stressing out over nothing?
It seems like people have seem to be forgotten what life is all about.
It's about love, about God, about relationship with God, about eternal happy ever after for God is Love and Love is God.
So why is everyone chasing nothing, running after empty feelings.
When you have someone you love, unconditionally, nothing else matters.
Success can't even buy you happiness.
Don't be too caught up with the world.
The world is evil. Money is evil. Greed is evil.
It is trying to make you forget what living is all about.
Life is about enjoying good time from God. Play it safe.

But then, what if you do find your love?

You have mixed the ingredients of love properly yet water still can't be mixed with oil.
I've found my love.
THE ONE.
Love & respect each other. So we did.
He respects me so much. Sometimes I'm the evil one, trying to pull the trigger.
He understands and respects my "No sex before marriage" perspective.
He passed my jerk test that he doesnt even know about.
He made a wish for us to have a chance, to be together when we both saw the same shooting star under the same sky and apparently made the same wish. And both of our wishes came true.
He would stare at me when I sleep and call me beautiful.
He would "fall with" me when i fall and there's no one to catch me.
He would show me..."Paradise"
He appreciate how I drive to LA just to see him.
He respects my family and friends
He cares about my family and friends

yet
yet
yet

He's a muslim...(No I AM NOT religousist!) It's just that, I have the perfect understanding of my religion and honestly, I have never, It never crossed my mind I would fall in love with someone who is not an SDA. I grew up SDA, and believes that if I were to marry someone they have to have the same religion as me. So yes, religion plays an important role in my life. And I understand that he is too... So I am confused! and yes, the subject "marriage" have been tossed around couple of times.

Surat2?
he's an international student, so obviously ga ijo. You know like all the other indo parents wants you to marry someone with surat2. Ijo AT LEAST! and gw juga ga mau kalo dia ama gw cuma gara2 dia pikir gw ada surat2. Well ada sih tapi kan msi proses and it takes yearsssss untuk resultnya.. so, I really hope dia ga after surat2 gw.

Dari Russia/Uzbek/Tajik dan sekitarnya
ato gw yg racist? gw tau gw ga bakal comfy ama adatnya... I mean i don't knooooowwww... Korean yea i could totally get used to, England YESSS of kourse! tapi, Tajik? mana gw tauu?? ok gw kedengerannya mean abis tapi, ini reality. Apa yg harus gw accept. and try to adapt to it. the question is, apakah gw bisa?

Pucca + Garu

2010-05-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

infamous Sister.

2010-05-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend Makhs :)

2010-05-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

Picture of the infamous boyfriend, Max. :)
Taken in front of my church. His first visit to church :D

Bestie Pinky.

2010-05-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

Reasons not to have sex.

2010-05-21T02:35:00.000-07:00

1. What if he goes back to R***** and I miss him but he's not here meaning i'll prolly jz find some other guys to satisfy me which lead me to CHEATING!!! which not good... and I could get addicted
2. If we do it without having him get checked I might get: Gonorrhea, STDs, HIV which obviously lead to AIDS, herpes, and all of the other sexual transmitted diseases.
3. I might get pregnant while he already move back to R. :( but :)
4. What if his parents find out... I could get assassinated!!!!
5. He might not treasure/respect me as before
6. After we did it, I might realize that maybe he's not "THE ONE"
7. It could lead to break up
8. I'm gna get too attached and become more possessive BITCH
9. It may create more problems
10. It's a sin
11. I might not like it~ although I think it's impossible =P
12. I might regret it
13. Would let down my parents and my self
14. WAITING IS A TEST OF TRUE LOVE
15. God is going to get pushed out of my life :( and I dont want that.
16. NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN BRING IT BACK

Magda, please remember.... TRUE LOVE WAITS... afterall you are trying to make fairytales a happily ever after... So please, please please wait...

and if you do lose it, have fun reading this!!!!! MWAHAHHAHAHA~!!!!

STRESSED!

2010-05-19T16:54:00.000-07:00

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i just want to scream~
really bad.

I am so stressed~!
after all the dentist work, i have an estimate of $5,000.00 that I have to pay OUT OF MY POCKET!
I really cant think.... I don't know how I'm gna get another part time job and go to school at the same time :(
I am greatly stressed.

it just flashed to me. this is something impossible.
i need to turn to God.
He is the answer when you have no answer.

Okay... I will request him to help me pay off my dentist.

Ps. Heyyyy venting out sometimes gives you an idea of a way out... :)
Pps. I miss Max :(
Ppps. I wish he drives so he can visit me.
Pppps. I wish I have my own car.
ppppps. I wish I'm a humble billionare! :)

Met Vanness WU~! (F4/JVKV)

2010-05-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

So long after my obsession with F4 have died, came an opportunity meeting Vanness. So hey~! why not?! I was so obsessed with F4 during my 8-10th grade. I mean they are or actually WERE my everything! lol...

So yeah, all of a sudden my friend on FB post up a flyer n how to get in for free. So i got in the guestlist and planning to go with Pinky.

Hollywood & Fame (Worst Sunday in LA)

2010-05-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Boy oh boyyyyy~! Seriously?! Hollywood and Fame~ is just too muchhhh confusing~!
I slept over at Pinky's last night, and then went to LA.
So I met David, he's a magician...On his way to fame and he has performed at Playboy Mansion, etc. then met his roomate, Keith. He works at KIISfm and he puts on the playlist. Their other roomate Mark, has been in HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother).
David's place was fun, oh btw David is this guy that Pinky is seeing. Then after David's come the real business.

Mytchell Mora.
Went to his place after hanging out at David's place. Mytchell Mora is a guy that has something to do with going to Cuba illegaly or sumting like that. But now he is a Public Relation for a magazine called "OYE" i think. And he is/was also the article/news maker for FOX Channel.

after all of the new information from Mytchell we went to Hollywood & Highland to see Max. I missed him. Then when we got there my mom called and started yelling which put me in even more stress mode! and to just make it all complete, Max was making me mad too. What a perfect icing on the cake!

R.I.P. Magdalena W. K. Rumambi

2010-04-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

"Magdalena goes by Magda, have died this morning in her sleep. "

She was a cheerful girl, always happy and make positive vibe wherever she goes. Born June 30, 1989 in Jakarta, Indonesia at Rumah Sakit Pertamina. The second daughter of Samuel A. R. and Youla R.

okok...i should stop
giving me tears...
but yes...
if I hadn't done the surgery on Tuesday to get my cyst and pus taken out, today I would've died.

Monday morning when I woke up, my face was swollen. Went back to Dr. Laksana and told him it is hurting really bad but he just gave me an increased dose of vicodin and antibiotic. Thinking and hoping it would work. Sadly on Tuesday my face was still swollen, actually it was even worse...Bonnie has made an appointment to another dentist which happen to be an oral surgeon too. Went in and the doctor told me, if I waited 2 more days I could've died. The infection was really bad, the cyst was really bad and it was a size of a quarter. Everything was just bad. They performed the surgery and I felt better already.

When you come across something like this that deals between life and death, you come to ask yourself "Was I ready?", "When was the last time I spoke with God?", "Will I go to heaven?", "Will God forgive me?" and lots of other stuff.

But yet I have come to realize that I'm still alive because of Him. He wants me to do greater job and keep bringing that positive vibe in the glory of His name. I know I have to keep reminding myself that my life is God's. I thanked God for giving me another chance to live, to love, to laugh and to glorify His name. I hope God will make me an instrument of Him. Little by little I hope I can reach out to people, to make a difference.

Amen.

Retreat @ Pali Mountain

2010-04-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

oh mai goshhhhh!!! it was so freakin fun!! but i had a horrible, HORRIBLE toothache :(
and i jumped off a pole! ill post pix later!! :D

then i visit Max at Hollywood...i took 2 ibuprofens and i saw him...
i havent seen him for like 2 weeks!! lol...

Geisha House

2010-04-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

"The Family" met Max
"The Family" likes Max
"The Family" as in: Ming, Irene, Rian, K Icha, Akira, Ari (Gaby's Korean frn), Jojo and Sukma

i'm HAPPY!

Naughty? No~

2010-04-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hahhaahh sooo yeahhhh....
I "kidnapped" him last night since my sister is out to our work retreat at Pali Mountain
so i didn't know where to go so i just took him to my place :) and Sukma wasn't home but Gaby was. So i told Gaby that Max is with me and she was like "Okay :)" lol...

So the night continued...

sweet kisses
staring into eachother's eye
smiling at eachother
talking
pecks

just trying to freeze the moment

i could stay like this forever...

and we both fell asleep :)

*and for those who is curious if we did it, answer is NO we didn't have sex because I'm not ready yet and because I still want to keep my V* and plus I was on my . so no we didn't that...

and it was so heart touching when he said that our relationship does not based on sex :) so i hope he can keep his words and will wait till I'm ready.

_____________________________________________________________

I can hear the birds chirping, I opened my eyes and see this beautiful human, a God's creation, an answered prayer in front of me...sleeping with the cutest smile :)

I stared at his beautiful face, running my fingers from his forehead to his eyes, nose, lips and then his chin.

I cupped my hands and touched his face.

I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

time passed by...

All of the sudden I felt a kiss

On my forehead

eyes

nose

lips

cheeks

and all over my face

I shut my eyes completely and afraid to come back to reality

afraid the kisses will be gone

then I can hear a soft deep voice whisper "Good morning beb"...

I peeked and slowly opened my eyes

and I smiled

and he kissed me all over

forehead

eyes

nose

lips

and cheeks

with a wide smile on each kisses :)

12:00pm

I called my sister to see where she's at...

she just exited to go to Reche Canyon from the mountain

I was afraid to tell her that Max slept over.

12:30pm

Gaby just finished her shower and so she met him :)

and i told her not to tell my sis or anyone but apparently she already told Sukma

Sukma wanted to see him too :)

1:00pm

I thought "Hey, why am I afraid?? We didn't do anything that we shouldn't do last night"

So I bought my sis chicken McNugget and rice and sweet tea.

went to her work place and had Max delivered it to her..

I stood behind Max as he walked in the front office

and kindly he said "Hai Ka Wulan :)"

my sister was surprised and speechless when she saw max

but, she likes him

Night full of kisses :)

2010-04-13T10:43:00.000-07:00

After work then sauna at Nogales then crazy thought:

LA!

i mean heyyyy im only 20mins away...so why not? and Max is off.

sooooo i went to LA....

we went to the Korean market and then sit in the parking lot just talking...and sweet kisses :)

its so crazy. when we're alone it feels like time slows down, like just the two of us but really time goes by really fast.
i love tonight.
:)

Today was a fairytale...

2010-04-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

It must've been the way you kissed me~!

>_<>.<" long long long story but long story short, i was sleeping on his chest (hold it right there!!! before ur dirty minds take over, we still have our clothes ON!) lol so yeah! i was sleeping on his chest and idk wt hpnd he lift my chin up and kissed me. that's when it all started... ok tbcontinue cuz im malu writing this...ahahahah XD

and I, I, I'm terrified...

2010-03-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

i can honestly say that I've fallen for him.
i can honestly say that I'm starting to have feelings for him.
i can honestly say that the feelings is growing and getting stronger.
i can honestly say that I'm in....love

not because of his family background
not because of him paying all the time
not because he's cute
not because he's a "Karaev"
not because of the free tiramisu and other cakes he always gives me
not because of the free validation
not because of what he will be studying
not because he have a lot of friends and "connections"
not because he lives in Hollywood

but

because he's honest
because he cares... not only me but also people around me (my family & friends)
because he tries to understand me
because he respects me and others
because he's my Garu and I'm his Pucca
because he always try to impress me
because he loves his family
because he makes me feel secure
because he doesn't mind of my physical
because he makes me laugh out loud...literally
because he always listens
because he knows how to say no to what's not good for me
because he think others before he think about himself
because he's kind
because he's not afraid to be his dorkyself
because he knows i like it when he pinch me and i say "aduh" or "sakit" and he still do it anyways...

and more impotantly it's because

he's my sweetest escape

x,M.

Je-a-LouS

2010-03-10T10:50:00.000-08:00

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
this is what i hate the most when you're in love....

JEALOUSY

especially when u know ur guy is such a flirt.
so Max said there're these two indo girls in his class.
o shit
not another indo girls.
i dont know any other genuine indo girls other than
me n pinky.
ughhh this is stressing me out.
i hate this.

i hate how when u start to have feelings for someone
you have your insecure moments :(
your "What-ifs"
uuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh
what a sucky wednesday~!
a.lj;skldjfas;f;iewjhflkfvj; skljf GRR!

I'm In Love and I'm Terrified~

2010-03-09T08:47:00.000-08:00

Terrified

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you're the thing that's right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I'm in love and I'm terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

This could be good
It's already better than last
And love is worse than knowing
You're holding back
I could be all that you needed
If you let me try

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting start
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
in my only

I only said it cause i mean it
I only mean cause it's true
So don't you doubt what i've been dreaming
Cause it fills me up and holds me close
Whenever i'm without you

You said it again my hearts in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark
And I'm in love and I'm terrified
For the first time in the last time
In my only life

We hung out last Sunday again. Oscars Sunday... It was Me, Max, Pinky, Shayne (Pinky's new boyfriend ^^) and Greg (Max's friend). We went to eat at Kabuki @ Sunset&Vine for a good 3 hours...just talking and laughing... before the server sat us down, Max was like "Where's my hug?" and i spread my arms but i ddint move cuz i wanted him to come and hug me. and he did the same thing but didnt move... so i took a step closer (but we were still sort of far) then he pulled me and hug me tight....AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWHHHHHHH >_<" i hate thissssss~!! hihihihi i felt like i was in a movie.. hahaa then after that we went to the Observatory (Griffith Park) and saw stars from the telescope and to make the ending special, when we were about to leave going up the stairs... Whooooosh~ there it was... A shooting star***** with its long yellow tail. It was prettyfull... and we made a wish. after that i realized..."Okehhhh its official, its Tao Ming Tse and San Chai"... we were on the way back to Greg's place and I was wearing Max's cap and when I took it off, my hair was a mess. And Max was fixing my hair >.<" aaaaaaaaah~! I wanted to scream.. =) He was fixing my bangs and then he messed it up again.. -_-" hahahah *sigh* so kyoooooote.

There so much to tell but I like to keep it to myself. but I can tell you that by the end of the night, my sis was mad texting me to go home. It totally killed it! then I'm stressed and you know what I do when I'm stressed. Then I was gna tell Max what happened etc, until Greg came out. -__-" So I didn't tell him. And we went inside and Greg showed us his first performance, i thought it would be like a small stage etc. but NO! its was huggggggggeee~! and it was in Moscow i think. but yeah. and i'm like dammmmmmmn I've been missing in this world!

When Reality is Finally Better Than Dreams.

2010-03-03T08:21:00.000-08:00

You know you're in love when reality is finally better than your dreams.

This past three weeks have been the most fun week ever!
I guess ever since I met Max, everything slowy change.
You know how I'm all "ohhh Korean this Korean that" etc.?
Well, for once my reality is better than my dreams. =D

I am grateful to have known Max.
don't know if its too soon to say this.

x,M.

Pucca & Rex.

2010-03-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we hung out...
me, max and pinky and later taliq came
it was:
fashion district (me n pinky)
getty museum (me max pinky)
kodak theatre to drop off max
came up to eat
max is actually off
pick up taliq
eat at astro burger
eat at palm thai resto
watch shutter island
drop off taliq
drop off max

so much stuff happened..
so much laughter..
so much smiles...
so much happiness...

yesterday was the most relaxing day ever.
next thing i know...

im flying higher
falling faster

gotta....take....it....
slow

Closing February Opening March.

2010-03-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST~!

2010-02-26T20:28:00.000-08:00

I simply did my best and God totally did the rest. =)

that is the simplest way to explain it. =)

THANK YOU GOD~! Luvvvvv you~! =D

Go with the flow~~~

2010-02-24T08:48:00.000-08:00

but truly, I don't know where it's going

irony.

2010-02-19T16:43:00.000-08:00

When he said "Don't flirt wiz a guys"
I actually listened
and
did not flirt with anyone else.

but then
there you are,
flirting with other girls.

as weird as this will sound...
yea, i'm jealous.

what has this world becoming into?

crushed.

2010-02-19T09:26:00.000-08:00

im crushed.
not into a gazillion pieces but only a hundred of pieces.
so honestly, i was super jealous last night.
i mean i didn't know his friends were all girls.
and yes....
there's this particular one that likes him i suppose.
and i have no intention of "cock-blocking"
afterall, i am too is interested in him

i should've known from the beginning not to fall for a stranger.
i know that i know better than that
what was i thinking?

i miss that jittery, butterfly in ur tummy, shyness and nervousness feelings.

then Max came along.

this Korean looking Russian.
a very, VERY nice guy.
very easy to get a long with.
very gentle guy
very cheery personality
very kind
very caring
very easy to fall for.

yet very,

flirty.

as my closest friend know...
that when i fall, i gave my all
i fell, i got crushed, and im getting on my feet again

this too shall pass right?
im just stupid as usual.

Max's bday.

2010-02-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

yes, Russian's bday. it was yesterday 2/18/10. long story short:
went to LA

ughhh scratch dat...

im too emo to write about the whole thing~

seriously.

or as Max would say "serioussssssssssssssssly"

=D

2010-02-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

butteflies in my tummy.
smiling widely.
laugh uncontrollably.

its that time of the year again.

lovebug.

cupid.

whatever you wanna call it.

so he called.
and we talked.

'nuff said~

x,M.

Russian.

2010-02-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

He's doing ok... We're still "talking" actually...

Yesterday after I entered my blog entry, he actually texted me back.
He said "Privet :) Kak dela?" and I said "Kharashow... A ti?"
hahahah in my whole life i have never thought and it never crossed my mind that I'd even have Russian friend! So to my surprise, I'm learning Russian. Ahahah

I mean it has always been KOREAN, KOREAN, KOREAN~!

so yeah..anyways he txted saying he's at the mall shopping for t-shirts "just spending money"...
and i said "ah im jealous..... .... ..." and he said "hahahahah dont be jealous..next time we will go together shopping, allright?"...

let me pause

*pause*

HAHAHAHA seriously? no really...seriously?!...
somethings just doesnt make sense unless he's rich.. hahahah

then after we were just talking abt how he wants to go clubbing for his 21st bday this Thursday. and He said he'll open a table for 10 or 15 person... then we stopped txting..until at 9ish when he texted me asking wt im doing..and i happen to be at the gym and he said 'just txt me wen ur done then'...so an hour later after i showered etc. i txtd him and he txtd back later on n he said he was our jogging... -_-"
and we hvnt txt today.. so... soo yeah... i just thought its sort of weird..idk..i really dont know

ok i lied, i know.
i'm just...
i'm scared.

you know what I'd say..."The higher you fly, the harder you'll fall"
and it is a known fact that if you "flirt/talk" too much on text, then you will end up "krik2" when we meet...ughhh

its like "really?"...
seems like im not ready to go towards "relationship" status...
plus, he's all the way in LA...

so we'll just see how things are going

Wedding CANCELLED!

2010-02-15T14:59:00.000-08:00

NOT~!

fuck this drama... im tired of it and it aint my business!

you happy, im happy!

GET OUT!

stop breaking MY parents' heart!

UGH~!

FML.

x,M.

Stupid CuPiD~!

2010-02-15T14:33:00.000-08:00

You guys all know Hollywood & Highland right? or aka H&H in LA...

so yeahhhh Me and Pinky went there like a week ago where I saw this cute Asian guy that works at this one store...I tot he was cute... so last Saturday we went again but we were gna go to ESSEX bar to socialize or meet Darren my prince again but then we decided to go clubbing. After passing by his store Pinky out of nowhere walked backward and asked for his number for me... -_-" but instead he wants my number...so I gave him my number knowing he won't text me. His name is Max btw... so then me n pinky went to dV8...i was dancing till my someone txted me... hahah

yes you guessed it right. it was Max...

he was such a flirt..when i txt him whatcha doin he replied ".....dont flirt wiz other guys"...
so im like...wooookayy~ u started it...lets flirt!
so yeah flirt2 then i went home.

and yesterday me n pinky went to LA again for business* and we were looking around for an apartment.. its a small step to our other dream.. so yeah i was texting with Max again... and guesss what????

he is RUSSIAN~!

no offense but how can a guy that looks Korean be Russian?~
and he's studying to be a business administrator.

long story short.

me and pinky were just hanging out outside his workplace but he didnt seem to notice.
we were just brainstorming about * .. but point is he didnt even saw me... blahhh

honestly i dnt really like guys that are too flirty before getting to know me because i know it is all BULLfuckingSHIT~! so yeah...but hey! its nice to have a txt buddy... or actually no... because i added him on fb and i think he's not interested anymore... sad huh? yeahh but its ok im used to it. its just that i was getting comfortable txting with him =( al;ksjfa;lijbhaskl;djgkl;j ugh!

and before the fb thingy he asked why i ddnt come to the shop and say hi to him and i told him im suppppperr shy...and he said "hahah yea it's always like that if you like someone u get shy n nervous"... dalem hati...SERIUSSSSSS LU?!!! HAHAHAHHA wow...PD BANGET~!!!! obviously he knows he's cute but klo cowo dah ngomong kya gtu...gw rada2 BT bo~! so yeahhh pas dia dah approve on facebook dia langsung bilang he's going to sleep...LAMMMMEEE~!!!!! or i guess he didnt wnna "break my heart" knowing the fact that its was all lies on the txt n dat he's not even interested. CPDEH~!

udah ah...back to work

CIAO BELLA~!

x,M.

Dream went back to my inconscience state again.

2010-02-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

yeah...lots of things happen and lots of feelings were involved...

just too much drama in a little time between me, rok and keun suk...
after all its impossible.

anyhoo this is my last letter...ill just continue this dream and take another chance when i visit Korea someday... =)

with love,

x,M.

Dream is coming to live?

2010-02-10T10:47:00.000-08:00

I haven't wrote in a while... but how can I put this? As for this moment, I feel ok...no, I'm great actually! So let's just get to the point here...

i think....

i think!!!

i think,

my dream is coming to live...

Been Awhile.

2010-02-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

So I missed a lot of writing "LOVE". Work has been hectic and new changes are made.

and something great happened.

or maybe not great.

I think I just regret.

thats not good.

i will let you in the details later.

gotta finish my work first.

Lost...and Found

2010-01-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

_______________________________________

This is something I wrote last week. Just felt like writing. Felt a little bit emo. Lost is about me waiting for my dream to come true, waiting for love to come. Found is about when my dream came true, love has been found and realized that we're both were looking for each other this whole time and finally ready to exchange vow. This is my first pair thoughts that is why the title can be read as Lost then Found. This note still needs lots of editing since this is my rough draft but I don't know if i'll have time.

Dreaming is so easy but it's hard making it come true.

Love day 17: Controlling your temper IS love!

2010-01-18T12:56:00.000-08:00

So Me, Girlie and Jet went to Fashion District in LA to look for a polo shirt for Charter Hospice's merchandise that we'll have. It was raining and puddle was everywhere. After a long walk, we've finally found a shop that sells the polo shirt that we wanted. They got the polo, they got the color, and they got the price BUT they did NOT have the size we wanted. As a customer, the vendor must treat the customer nicely it is bussiness common sense! But instead the Owner was rude to us. He wasn't helping us and indirectly told us to leave the store if we want to. I was about to yell at him and threw my temper at him when a little voice in my head told me to just act cool and don't let it get to me. I ended up thanking him and left to go see other stores. =)

LOVE day 18..Massage is Love

2010-01-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

Hhaahhah that's right! Today I showed my love by giving Leslie a back message when she was doing her paper. I know she had been through a lot sice her father just passed away and she's behind on her work stuff. So I took a time to massage her and she said that's what she needs. Today also I gave my change to McDonald's donation for kids. yay!

LOVE DAY 16: Forgive=Love

2010-01-16T12:46:00.000-08:00

So, I saw Sarah.
At first I wanted to ask her why she deleted me and Pinky from Facebook.
Then I decide, I'll just ignore her since she'll ignore me anyway.
But then, we were about to leave when I realized that we have to walk passed by her.
So then I changed my mind and decide "Hey it's not a big deal anymore...I'm sure she have her reasons and I should just forgive her. I've forgive her many times for various different of reasons so why can't I forgive her now"..So I walked up to her, said my hellos to her mom and I can tell that she was trying to ignore me although I'm standing right in front of her. Then I pinched her cheek. I took her by surprise and she said "eh, da..apa kabar?" and I said "buseettt sombong benerrr..I haven't talked to you in ages! tapi gw dah mo pulang... so I'll talk to you later yahh?? call me call me.." and all she can do is nod.

Matthew 6:14-15

¹⁴For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Love UpDated!

2010-01-15T22:18:00.000-08:00

Day 11: Accepting is Love

Yes, I look extra weird today with my Sheep head/handwarmer. Although everyone always make fun of me I just accept it and be happy because I am different.

Day 12: DONATE TO HAITI
Haiti had just recently had a really bad earthquake leaving thousands of people died, injured and suffer. I donated purchased a Earthquake Watch app from Apple Store

Day 13: Hug is Love
Leslie (my co-worker) just got back to work since her dad died last week. She was trying to keep her heads up and be strong. I hugged her dearly and realized, hug is love.

Day 14: Helping is Love
So Bonnie wanted to go to VG (Victoria Garden) to pick up the dresses she ordered. I helped her give the right direction and not get lost. And it made me happy. =)

Day 15: Gave an Amputated man money
So me and my sister were on the way to go to Best Buy and buy an external hard drive for our work place and we exited Tipecannoe* and saw this homeless man standing with walker when I had just realized that his left knee was amputated. although the light was green my sister managed to stop and I gave him money, not a lot but I really hope it'd help. God bless him..

Love can also be Controling Oneself. Day 10.

2010-01-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

Love is controlling oneself.

We went to Vegas and things have been crazy. When I realize, loving one's body is controlling one's body/mind. =)

I could've smoke anywhere in Vegas but I controlled it, so I didn't even smoke. Yay!

Love Your Enemy(ies). LOVE day 9.

2010-01-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

I prayed about this last night and suddenly tears just came down my face like waterfall. I have decided to forgive Billy and all of the things he had done to me and my family. I never thought I would forgive him. Forgiving him was the biggest challenge in my 20 years of living. But I realize he made me learned a new lesson and how love conquers all. May my sister and Billy live happily ever after. *Cheers*

Love you enemies.

Love day 8: Love is not easily angered.

2010-01-08T22:47:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 13: 5 Love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.

I got an email from Extra Store Storage where my parents put their stuff at and the email said that I have to call them ASAP, so I called them when they said that if I don't pay they're going to auction all the stuff! and I asked them how much I owe them (we were 2 months late on the payment) they said the total is $348. I mean how and where am I going to get that amount of money from! So I called my mom and told her about it, she started screaming and yelling as if it was all my fault. But I just took a deep breath and listened to her, although first I was trying to explain her stuff. I tried so hard to control my anger. When I couldn't hold it any longer I just told her "Please I don't wanna be yelling, it's Sabbath", I hung up on her and turned my phone off. Ten minutes later she called me @ Reche and apologiez. Apologies accepted. =)

Love day 7: Love by listening.

2010-01-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

It's funny because Jeason's love for the day is also the same as mine.
Because it is true...there are people out there that just need someone to listen to.
Today had been such a hectic day at the office, I was calming people down and listening to them.
It's one of those days where everything and I mean EVERYTHING goes bad and wrong.
What's making it even worse is each and individual's attitude. *sigh*
but thank God today finally ended.
If you need someone to listen/talk to, I am here.
^^V

LOVE Day 6: Laughter is an instant vacation.

2010-01-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

Laughter is an instant vacation. ~Milton Berle

Love day 6 was making everyone in the office laugh. Maybe I should be a comedian...hahah jkjk

Mission #2: FAILED!

2010-01-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

하하하하하하하하!!! yea...mission #2 FAILED.. I called Tree J Company out-of-boredom again but it was actually just because I wanted to know if they've received my yellow envelopesss!! But this time a guy answered the phone, it was hillarious because I was trying to speak korean..with all the "여보세요", "마그다 입니다...", "노란색 메일을 어디서 났어??"... I mean I of course understood what I was saying, but when the guy was talking back to me I'm completely lost!!! And I said "영어 할 줄 아세요?"..and he said "no, nooo no inglishh"... and hung up.. *SIGH* but at least that guy didn't raise his tone at me like the other girls were... I just ended up laughing out loud.. but 이 레알리 wish 이 간 탈그 토 힘...=(

i LOVE you. Day 5.

2010-01-05T22:29:00.000-08:00

Today is Tuesdayyyy.... First I wrote a "LOVE" letter to someone hahhah I'm so lame and second I sort of made up with my mom and dad again... ^^V and thirdllly!!! I called my Oma in Indo and told her that I haven't forgot about her and I'll be sending her some money tomorrow ^^V but truly she was happy just by hearing my voice ='] and lastly I told her...

"I love you Oma!!!!" =)

Question, answered.

2010-01-05T10:31:00.001-08:00

So yesterday in the middle of my failing love, I asked Pastor Jaeson Ma (through http://www.jaesonma.com/) what if I fail a day of love. Guess what?! He replied!
Here is his answer:
The first box was me and my question.
MwR said on January 4th, 2010 at 7:41 pm:
I failed my day 4 of 365 days of love today. I got in a fight with my mom again.. Although this would be the first this year =( what do I do if I fail love for a day? =( help.

Second is his answer.

jaeson said on January 5th, 2010 at 1:16 am:
To MWR, don’t be discouraged or hard on yourself. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, He expects us to trust in His perfect love. the point of the 365 days of love is to do acts of kindness from our heart, not out of duty. if we fail, God still loves us the same cause its the motivation and heart that counts. Get back at loving tomorrow friend!

___________________________________________________

Thank you Jaeson for replying and answering my question. I might've said it like I'm doing it as a duty because I don't really know what love is. Or maybe I do know, it's all around me but I tend to pass it. Now I got a better understanding!

x,M.

LOVE DAY 4: FAILED?

2010-01-04T23:12:00.000-08:00

I admit I failed to give love today, I had an argument with my mom at first and then with my dad. Only then I realized, I was LOVED. =)

I may have failed of giving love but my parents showed and gave me love and tell me what I needed to do since they know me better than I know myself. Therefore, I'm greatful. They pointed out my wrongs that I know but I kept denying it. You see, the biggest problem with me is that I can say "Yes" to everything but yet I don't do them. I will try my hardest to change that by doing small habits so it will become a character.

Back to WORK!!!

2010-01-04T09:06:00.000-08:00

First day back to work in 2010. Me and my sister were late (as usual -_-") maybe that should be our ny resolution. But I walked in saying "Happy New Years!" to everyone. Mannnn everyone was in the office this morning. Bonnie called me at 7:00 this morning but I didn't call her back until almost 8 and she said that she's sick so she's not coming today =( but I hope she feels better by tomorrow! =) okay gotta get back to work and do some more bereavement stuff.
TTYL!

LOVE Day 3.

2010-01-03T21:04:00.001-08:00

What I did today to show my love was.....*DRUMROLL* I played with PUCCA! Ouuhhh I wish I had took a picture or at least video it. =( bummer! but yes, I took her out for a walk and she did her things (peeing, pooing, running, "barking", etc.) then we went played for awhile and we both decided we'll sleep the entire day. So we did...히히히히... it was alot of FUN!!!

Pucca, 사랑헤!!

Today is also a special day because it's Gaby's birthday and she's coming back from Indo tonight!!!!
So I want to shoutout:

생힐 죽하합니다 Gabriella Tiur Bintang Pandjaitan!!!!

Attempt of 365 Days of LOVE.

2010-01-03T01:05:00.000-08:00

Day 1. (Jan 1, 2010)
I showed my love by cleaning up the room of me and my sister's and rearrange it. He-he-he.

Day 2. (Jan 2, 2010)

ㄱㄱㄱ... I made Roti Bakar (Fried Bread) filled with Meces, Butter, Condensed milk and <3 for my sister that caught the cold from me 헤헤헤 =D. BUT she's still sleeping. I'll let her sleep because she doesn't feel good and she have to work tomorrow. I do hope she feels better. ^^V

I also told Alva I love her so mucho!

New Year RESOLUTIONs:

2010-01-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

res·o·lu·tion (noun)
1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.
2. A resolving to do something.
3. A course of action determined or decided on.

Okay so here are some of the things that I will TRY to resulate: (I know there's alot but it's only because I want this year to be a GREAT year! Not only for myself, but for my family and friends)

Honestly, truly, wholeheartedly accept God. He's the King of my heart, Temple of my body, driver of my life, hiding place, bestest friend, lover and lifesaver.

Seek Him = Success in Faith and in Him. Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Lessen EVIL thoughts and proudness, TRUTH will set me free.

Reading BIBLE (Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth) and seeking Him will be my parties. Go! and be His disciples. (I still haven't got the concept 100% but I'll let Him do the action through me)

Reach out as many people as possible. From the non-believers to the believers, non-famous to famous, highest place to the lowest place, ugliest to prettiest/handsomest; any way possible.

Show LOVE anyone, anywhere, everyone and everywhere. Haters, enemies, backstabbers, thieves, liars...

Make at least ONE (1) difference.

Go to school, STUDY hard!

Eat healthy = Lose weight = Happy HappiER MAGDA

Read hangul perfectly. ^^V

Since God is looking for a few good plodders, I too will try my best to be a good plodder.

Happy New Year and GOD BLESS EVERYONE!

01.01.10

2010-01-01T13:10:00.000-08:00

How I spent the last day of 2009 and how I opened the year 2010 was REALLLYY interesting!

1st off is Work. It's also Mr.Frank's birthday on the 30th! My co-worker bought a birthday cake for him but we were all like "hmm, do you think he's going to come?"... We didn't want to waste anymore minutes so what we did (partly Jerome's idea) was we took a video of everyone in the office singing happy birthday and we're planning to put it on YouTube.

Bye2009Hello2010

2010-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Will be OVER.

2009-12-31T00:25:00.000-08:00

I just don't know when.
LAME MODE: ON

What is this hotness?!

* *

** **

*** ***

**** ****

***** *****

**** ****

*** ***

** **

* *

ah, but this is LIFE...

Fortune Cookie, CupCake, Caramel Machiatto, KRamen, Happy Girl

Mails Sent!

2009-12-29T15:24:00.001-08:00

YEP! Mails are sent! They'll probably receive it by Jan 16th. SUCKS! But HOPEFULLY *crossing fingers* it got to Tree J Company! I'll have to wait until February to see if my mail(s) will return or not.

"Modification"

2009-12-29T13:33:00.000-08:00

This is what I wrote last night, so I suppose they read it and this is how they reply me: I don't know if I should appreciate them rewriting the "Notice" or should I be pissed.
Actually I'm both. I apreciate them changing everything to a more kind words but I'm also pissed because they just covered their unprofessional asses!

both pix credit goes to www.jangkeunsuk.co.kr

Mission #1: FAILED!

2009-12-28T22:01:00.000-08:00

Hahahahha wow. Over something small.

Really, I didn't think Tree J Company would make such a big deal out of it.

I mean, it only make sense:

You should be nice to whoever you are talking to, even if they canNOT speak Korean.
If you canNOT speak the language, DO NOT panick while still on the phone (having the caller hear you panicked)
Please at least learn how to say "I'm sorry, may I put you on hold for a moment?"
Don't yell at the caller. The caller might be someone important that wants to do business with your company.
Last but not least, be kind. No matter what language you are talking in, soften the tone of your voice.

By the end of my night-shift, all I got was a simple address and a wide grin.

It got worse...

2009-12-28T14:45:00.001-08:00

Indeed, it got worse.
I had my nose bleed...AGAIN!
I feel like something's wrong with me.
I don't feel good at ALL
I feel sooo weak.
=(

this was yesterday

Cold gets worse.

2009-12-28T11:42:00.000-08:00

Yes indeed it did. 후후후 ㅜㅅㅜ"

Living Dreams Day by Day.

2009-12-28T10:07:00.000-08:00

Today is MONDAY, the day I hate the most! and I'm terribly sick! (-ㅅ-)" Anyhoo, I feel like starting to blog again but I want a new blog which is the reason why I made this new one. My old one was in Xanga.com, it has TONS of stuff that goes way back to 2003 but I would like to start anew.

I made the title of this blog "Living Dreams Day by Day" simply because in this new year I would like to believe that dreams do come true (the nice dreams of course). =)

This blog will probably contain the most randomest thing I did with my family or friends. Can't wait to start this 2010.